How I love William Barker

Not long ago William I met
True I made out with him on a bet
But that's not the point
Cuz he hangs til four at the joint.

He's as loyal as they come
Some of his tracks are kinda dumb
But he's one you can count on
On a bottle of wine I am gone.

William Barker is the man.
It's okay that he's not so tan.
For it's true he is the bomb.
And it's rumored he has long dong.
(at least, I read that on a bathroom stall.)

I love my Silly Billy
He makes me feel so nilly.
His DJ name is Guardian
Sounds like it's a little Narnian.

He's tall and very lanky
He likes it when you spanky.
He jokes with the best and
He puts Cade to the tests,

and William is the one
that makes me so much fun.
Who else could do Dees
On Halloween with Ellen PAHLEEZE....

William Barker is a light
Though sometimes he is uptight
I love him so very much
His little bottom I need to touch.

So this very poem I put out
After this bottle I'll sure have gout
For William is my favorite
and everyone else can go fuck themselves.

Love,
Porter