I sent this out in a recent newsletter email of mine but thought it was appropriate here too. Mostly because I want to see Mark and Cade call each other names about PC vs. Mac and also because if you DIDN'T get this in email form then why not? Email me at porter@portertinsley.com to sign up for my mailing list. It's better than Wolfie's.

You know what I hate MOST about Dj's? The fact that if they are not squabbling over "Vinyl vs. CDJs" they are arguing like nerds playing with 12 sided dice about "CDJ's vs. Final Scratch Pro" or "Final Scratch Pro vs. Abelton Live." Put your pocket-protector away, Erckle, and while you're at it, shut the hell up. You would not believe the threads going on for miles about this crap on our DJ emails back and forth to each other. It's like watching the Surreal Life except with DJs in the underground. The only good thing about it is that I have a big ol' DELETE button, ha ha ha.

Here's the backstory: I recently decided I was tired of playing all the same tracks on beatport.com (like it's a big secret where all the L.A. dj's do their shopping anymore) as every other dj in L.A., as well as the fact that FINDING exactly what I wanted meant I had to sift through about 300 or more songs (and still maybe not find what I was looking for.) So, instead of not shopping and therefore NOT having new music to play out, I decided I was FINALLY going to make the leap into production. I figure, "What the hell? I'm only playing the gigs I absolutely WANT to play these days, so why am I not playing the EXACT sound that I WANT to hear/play?" I asked myself, "What would Lindsay Lohan do?"

But then I made the mistake of telling my DJ friends what I decided to buy (Reason.) THEN the discussion really began and I've just spent the last half an hour listening to Saynt on AIM (who does NOT currently produce tracks) tell me that I'll basically be producing on "speak and spell" because I'm doing it on a PC instead of a Mac. I'd also like to stipulate at this time that Saynt is a World of Warcraft addict and still wears floaties in the swimming pool.

It's the same reason people hate HATE burners: they never, ever shut up about it. It's worse than hearing about Paris Hilton in jail. Burningman this and camping this and fuzzy bike that and what it means to them and their experience and epiphanies..... on and on and on for six months out of the year if not more. Don't get me wrong, it's great that people can find something in the middle of nowhere, but must it be like Mormon's on their missions trying to convert? I get it: doing stuff in the middle of nowhere without the outside world bothering you is fun; It's why Britney Spears keeps going to rehab and it's why our troops don't ever want to come home from the middle east.

Don't get me wrong, I am as much a part of the underground community as any artist or promoter or DJ or participant and have been called "a burner who doesn't go to burningman" (which I take as a compliment.) I love my burner friends and I'm glad it makes them happy. Just the same way I am happy when Wolfie told me he was using Logic and learning and producing. Good for him! He smacked down the time and cash to learn and create using Mac-based software Logic, and that's only a good thing (or a bad thing, depending on whether you are listening to his stuff.) I was happy to see DivaDanielle rock out on Serato software because all of the "on the fly" stuff you can throw into a regular DJ set. I am stoked at any new creation, even if it's glitch-breaks (okay, maybe not glitch breaks.)

But arguing over it is like arguing over drinking your "Mystical Elven invisibility potion" before or after heading into the "dungeon of doom" to rescue your "12th level companion dog-minion," except, in my opinion, it's much worse because they are arguing about "what's the better way to create" something. Who fucking cares as long as you're creating?

I have to go to the store now. I promised Saynt I'd get him a brand new set of 12 sided dice for his birthday.